“The only thing that matters in life is relationships” (The Grant Study, Harvard Medical School).  That is why working on your relationship is so important.  It is not easy though because your marriage started when you were 8 years old.  That is when your feelings and reaction patterns were created.  The work on marriage IS work on self.  Embrace the discomfort of the longing, joy and frustration your marriage stirs up.  Forget about the outcome of the work and just do it.  The work you do today on yourself, in your marriage, will change your grandkids grandkid’s lives.